So this Tuesday was my 22nd birthday.
After 4 hours of lectures and a group meeting - consider it an early birthday present to myself - I got on a surprisingly packed train to London on Monday evening.
I had an amazing (am I using that word too much?) night Monday with someone pretty damn special (I know you're going to read this and make fun of me so just shut up in advance), full of lovely feelings (I actually have them, true story) and happiness (oh God, I sound like a hippy, man).
- I got a book on how to use brackets effectively in sentences for my birthday, can you tell?
Tuesday morning was equally lovely, and I spent the rest of the day with family. Mum in the morning, Dad in the evening. Divorce, who doesn't love it?! To be fair, two lots of presents, and two lots of cake. And here is where the issue arises.
So I'm not supposed to eat big meals, or late. After about 6/7pm, it's a no fly zone. And by fly, I mean eat, in case that wasn't clear. Medical thing, not a self-inflicted hipster diet. 'I live on juice alone made from vegetables and wood chippings'... I'm sure you do, now go be 'cool' somewhere else. Anyway, 6/7pm is the cut off point. Why? Because otherwise I get this excruciating pain where I can barely stand that lasts about 8/12 hours (usually overnight). No biggy. Digestion is for losers. It's all about being unique...
Right, so, background story complete, let's get to the good stuff.
Tuesday evening, it got to 6pm and I'd been to lunch with my Mum and had the usual junk food a birthday involves (thanks for the tray of cupcakes Char, I in no way blame you for what is about to entail...). Safe to say, I was full. Very full. Fast forward two hours, my Dad arrived home from work, and dinner was being served. 8pm. Good maths, go you. Dinner and birthday cake. Birthday cake that bit back.
Fast forward again to 11pm. Asleep? Heavens no! That's so yesterday. It's all about staying up all night nowadays. In crippling pain, because otherwise you're just not doing it right.
Fast forward (what seemed like an eternity to me) 7 hours, and it was time to get up to get my train back to Bath for the presentation we had at 11am worth 10% of our grade. 10%. 6:22am train for a 10% presentation. No sleep, still in crippling pain, feeling sick. You know what's missing? Public transport! And let's make it horribly cold too. WHY NOT?! Start my 22nd year as I mean to go on. Screwed, basically.
11am presentation done. Managed to stay awake just about, and the pain started to go (it had been about 12 hours of pain by now, I don't like to do things by halves. No pain no..gain?). After group meetings and some work, 9pm was here. Okay, let's speed this sob story up.
Sleep you ask? Of course! Of course not. Instead of sleep, pain. Pain pain pain. Back again. No sleep Wednesday night. Pain and sobbing (I really think I'm entitled to feel a bit sorry for myself. Fuck off, I am). Thursday morning shines brightly through my window. Screw you sun. Thursday was spent feeling sick and tired (not the phrase, actually nauseous and exhausted). Night time. Sleep? Yes! Sleep! No. No sleep for you. You had cake. You greedy greedy birthday girl.
Thursday I ate all of a cereal bar and a bowl of soup. Clearly, soup and cereal create some sort of sleep-fighting super villian. Thursday night was again spent awake, until about 4am, when the pain killers finally worked and I drifted off to sleep. Luxury.
So, to sum up, the beginning of my 22nd year? Not quite the delight I had envisaged.
However, armed with the coolest umbrella I've ever seen (yeah, I said umbrella, and what), a smiley pizza slice soft toy (the best soft toy I have ever got, like...ever) and a whole heap of really thoughtful presents, I can't really complain. Even the cards I got were thoughtful (Auntie Sarah, you are, and will always an awesome person). In a way, I'd almost say it was... worth it. This birthday was one of the best I can ever remember. Gosh. All 22 years. Yeah alright, Mr/Mrs Picky, it's not that many years, but clearly I'm trying to emphasise that in spite of the rubbish rubbish aftermath of my birthday, it was awesome.
Now, as it's 10pm, and I really miss the excitement from this weeks food-fiasco, I'm off to an all-you-can-eat buffet for a chow down.
I can hear the ambulance sirens' now. x
Sunday 1 December 2013
Tuesday 19 November 2013
It's nutritious!...
Okay, so I take full accountability for the results of my actions detailed below. It's not so much bad luck, as misfortune I brought upon myself in a moment of idiocy. Let me explain...
I take a module called 'Advanced Advertising Theory'. It's the one I spoke about previously involving the purple laptop incident, you know, the incredibly embarrassing incident we don't ever speak about. Advanced Advertising Theory is about as exciting as it sounds. And it sounds like a roller-coaster ride with a sabre-toothed tiger right? Right...
Anyway, although this may be hard to believe, at times, I lose my concentration and glance at my phone for a moment or two. In a way, it might not be my fault that this happened, because my people need me. I'm insanely popular, you see. (As if you didn't know that already).
So, as I was saying, I picked up my phone to text my Mum back, and this, this is where the trouble began.
The general idea of this module is to analyse adverts and assess their meaning, what they are trying to convey to their audience. It can be quite interesting. We began with the Cadbury gorilla ad. Good marketing. A drum playing primates set to the soundtrack of Phil Collins' 'In the air tonight'; - what's not to love? Seriously though, inspired. We then looked at the Butchers dog food advert. In this, we can establish that the food makes your dog healthy and strong. I mean, this isn't rocket science is it.
The excitement of the dog advert really got to me, and I needed a time out. This was where I reached for my phone. A quick glance at the board before I looked at my phone showed a bored cat lounging around a house, suddenly becoming energetic. Given that I'm not particularly a cat person, and that I was just a tad disinterested in the advert, I read my text, replied, and looked back up. The advert had stopped, the screen was black. Oh darn, I missed the end.
'What do you think this advert is showing?' our lecturer asked.
Silence
'I think it shows the product is nutritious' I said, attempting to break the awkward unresponsiveness of our Monday morning class.
Now this, this is the point at which I wished I'd just shut the fuck up. Hero to zero in the space of 10 seconds. I thought I was saving the class. I thought the lecturer would be thankful someone answered. I shouldn't think, is the overall moral of this story. I might as well have shouted out 'don't forget I'm the moron who picks laptops only based on colour!'.
As it turns out, the advert was for O2. Something about 'be more dog'. I still don't know, I can't bring myself to watch the ad again. I realised this about 10 seconds after speaking. My insightful 'nutritious' statement caused everyone to stare at me for a second or two, then laugh a bit assuming I was making some sort of weird joke. The lecturer gave me a 'what are you even talking about' look, gave a brief chuckle, and moved on.
Oh hi there humiliation. It's been a while. Oh wait, no, no it has not.
Lesson:shut the fuck up unless you know what you are saying. Stop playing on your phone in lectures.
Other than this, things are pretty swell.
Wedding was a success. Boyfriend still pretty wonderful (adding the 'pretty' makes me less clingy). Foot has made a full recovery. Uni? 191 days left, that's all you need to know.
It's also my birthday next week, and not too long till Christmas. Romantic movies and duvet days! And this year I have someone who will actually watch them with me. Ah the sickly sweet romance. Just like in the movies! Happy times.
Sigh. Time to get back to my mountain of Uni work. I LOVE EDUCTAION. Educaton. Edu.. School. x
I take a module called 'Advanced Advertising Theory'. It's the one I spoke about previously involving the purple laptop incident, you know, the incredibly embarrassing incident we don't ever speak about. Advanced Advertising Theory is about as exciting as it sounds. And it sounds like a roller-coaster ride with a sabre-toothed tiger right? Right...
Anyway, although this may be hard to believe, at times, I lose my concentration and glance at my phone for a moment or two. In a way, it might not be my fault that this happened, because my people need me. I'm insanely popular, you see. (As if you didn't know that already).
So, as I was saying, I picked up my phone to text my Mum back, and this, this is where the trouble began.
The general idea of this module is to analyse adverts and assess their meaning, what they are trying to convey to their audience. It can be quite interesting. We began with the Cadbury gorilla ad. Good marketing. A drum playing primates set to the soundtrack of Phil Collins' 'In the air tonight'; - what's not to love? Seriously though, inspired. We then looked at the Butchers dog food advert. In this, we can establish that the food makes your dog healthy and strong. I mean, this isn't rocket science is it.
The excitement of the dog advert really got to me, and I needed a time out. This was where I reached for my phone. A quick glance at the board before I looked at my phone showed a bored cat lounging around a house, suddenly becoming energetic. Given that I'm not particularly a cat person, and that I was just a tad disinterested in the advert, I read my text, replied, and looked back up. The advert had stopped, the screen was black. Oh darn, I missed the end.
'What do you think this advert is showing?' our lecturer asked.
Silence
'I think it shows the product is nutritious' I said, attempting to break the awkward unresponsiveness of our Monday morning class.
Now this, this is the point at which I wished I'd just shut the fuck up. Hero to zero in the space of 10 seconds. I thought I was saving the class. I thought the lecturer would be thankful someone answered. I shouldn't think, is the overall moral of this story. I might as well have shouted out 'don't forget I'm the moron who picks laptops only based on colour!'.
As it turns out, the advert was for O2. Something about 'be more dog'. I still don't know, I can't bring myself to watch the ad again. I realised this about 10 seconds after speaking. My insightful 'nutritious' statement caused everyone to stare at me for a second or two, then laugh a bit assuming I was making some sort of weird joke. The lecturer gave me a 'what are you even talking about' look, gave a brief chuckle, and moved on.
Oh hi there humiliation. It's been a while. Oh wait, no, no it has not.
Lesson:
Other than this, things are pretty swell.
Wedding was a success. Boyfriend still pretty wonderful (adding the 'pretty' makes me less clingy). Foot has made a full recovery. Uni? 191 days left, that's all you need to know.
It's also my birthday next week, and not too long till Christmas. Romantic movies and duvet days! And this year I have someone who will actually watch them with me. Ah the sickly sweet romance. Just like in the movies! Happy times.
Sigh. Time to get back to my mountain of Uni work. I LOVE EDUCTAION. Educaton. Edu.. School. x
Thursday 31 October 2013
Clearly, I shot an old lady in a previous life.
We're down to 210 days, so my countdown app says. And how is life? Well. Well...
After attempting to be fit and healthy and starting running in replacement for the gym while being at Uni (and a poor student who can't really justify £400 on a gym subscription), I have either severely torn the muscles in my foot or fractured it. How do I know? Because I've spent all of two weeks hobbling around on it, progressively getting more disabled (I say it's walking with swagger. Most people disagree. What do they know?), before finally going to the doctors and being told. I went for an X-ray, the woman told me she couldn't be sure and to await the doctors analysis. In the meantime, 'try not to walk'. That's cool, I was trying to cut down anyway...
Okay, so why the post title? 'Shot an old lady'? Bit melodramatic for just that? It's more 'kicked an old lady' than shot... Well, thanks for being so sympathetic. Dick. But no, since you asked, that is not it.
By limping so much, I have also strained/pulled the muscle in my other leg, making walking even more painful. Well hell, I love a good challenge. THANKS GOD.
Ok, fine, so you're a bit crippled, things aren't really going your way I guess. But still, shot? More like... 'pushed an old lady over and then kicked her'. I know, it's like I'm reading your mind right? Scary stuff. Well it IS Halloween. *enter scary woo ghost noise*
THE STORY CONTINUES.
In trying to soothe the muscle ache in my un-crippled foot side, the one with the pulled muscle, I decided to put a hot water bottle on it. It's cold in Bath too, so it was nice to keep me warm. Be careful what you wish for guys. The hot water bottle then split, all over my thigh, and burnt my leg.
'Holy shit, you did shoot an old lady in a previous life didn't you!' I hear your mind cry. I must have.
Things, evidently, are not going my way.
Oh, might I add, that during the hot water bottle performance, I was also on the phone to my newly found boyfriend. Way to look like a complete moron. Well, I'm sure he already had an inkling, but I've safely secured the position of Head Retard in his mind now. Superb... Superb.
Well, I'm off to break a few mirrors and throw salt around like a mad-man. LIKE IT MATTERS. Oh, and wait for a 'hey freak, s'totally over' text.
Don't eat too many sweets! x
After attempting to be fit and healthy and starting running in replacement for the gym while being at Uni (and a poor student who can't really justify £400 on a gym subscription), I have either severely torn the muscles in my foot or fractured it. How do I know? Because I've spent all of two weeks hobbling around on it, progressively getting more disabled (I say it's walking with swagger. Most people disagree. What do they know?), before finally going to the doctors and being told. I went for an X-ray, the woman told me she couldn't be sure and to await the doctors analysis. In the meantime, 'try not to walk'. That's cool, I was trying to cut down anyway...
Okay, so why the post title? 'Shot an old lady'? Bit melodramatic for just that? It's more 'kicked an old lady' than shot... Well, thanks for being so sympathetic. Dick. But no, since you asked, that is not it.
By limping so much, I have also strained/pulled the muscle in my other leg, making walking even more painful. Well hell, I love a good challenge. THANKS GOD.
Ok, fine, so you're a bit crippled, things aren't really going your way I guess. But still, shot? More like... 'pushed an old lady over and then kicked her'. I know, it's like I'm reading your mind right? Scary stuff. Well it IS Halloween. *enter scary woo ghost noise*
THE STORY CONTINUES.
In trying to soothe the muscle ache in my un-crippled foot side, the one with the pulled muscle, I decided to put a hot water bottle on it. It's cold in Bath too, so it was nice to keep me warm. Be careful what you wish for guys. The hot water bottle then split, all over my thigh, and burnt my leg.
'Holy shit, you did shoot an old lady in a previous life didn't you!' I hear your mind cry. I must have.
Things, evidently, are not going my way.
Oh, might I add, that during the hot water bottle performance, I was also on the phone to my newly found boyfriend. Way to look like a complete moron. Well, I'm sure he already had an inkling, but I've safely secured the position of Head Retard in his mind now. Superb... Superb.
Well, I'm off to break a few mirrors and throw salt around like a mad-man. LIKE IT MATTERS. Oh, and wait for a 'hey freak, s'totally over' text.
Don't eat too many sweets! x
Monday 14 October 2013
227 days left
Today, during one of my lectures (two 2 hour lectures on a Monday morning starting at 9am... Can I get a EURGH), my lecturer asked on what attributes we picked our laptops, attempting to demonstrate the emotional appeal of adverts/brands.
I stated that I chose my laptop due to the fact it was purple.
He asked if I was sure I was on the right course.
Burn.
Nevertheless, 227 days to go. Not that I'm counting or anything (I have an app for that).
I stated that I chose my laptop due to the fact it was purple.
He asked if I was sure I was on the right course.
Burn.
Nevertheless, 227 days to go. Not that I'm counting or anything (I have an app for that).
Sunday 29 September 2013
The beginning of the end.
'It's been a while since we talked last, and I'm trying hard not to talk fast'
-Gym Class Heroes - Cupid's Chokehold
I've posted once since this started, appalling. However, life has been somewhat of the crazy nature. I have broken up with my long-term boyfriend (four and a half years, whoa man, whoa), found a new wonderful and amazing guy (don't tell him, it'll go to his head and also I'm trying to play it cool - it's hard work even when you're this naturally cool), I have finished my second university placement, and returned back to my favourite place of work as a temp for a short time once again. Also, my sister has got engaged, my brother has got a boyfriend (say whattttt. Yes, you heard me), my best friends baby now walks and talks, and my Dad's wedding is almost upon us. I say us, you're not really involved, depending on who you are of course. Auntie Sarah? You're totally my wingman for the night. But random strangers reading this, you totally aren't involved.
Anyway. I have now returned to University for my fourth and final year. Can I get a HOORAY?! As of today, I have 243 days left of University, which means 8 months and 1 day left of education. It seems so close, and yet so so far. But nevertheless, I am both excited and bored. I am excited that this is my last year: what will it hold?! Lectures, most likely, but let's be optimistic. I am also a little bored that I am still here, four years has a way of lasting forever when you're desperate to be free and work. Just when things were going amazingly, with a guy who just by seeing him makes me smile, a best friend that is incredible and looks out for me all the time, and a family that are crazy as anything but provide more than enough comedy for me, I'm off again. SIGH. But let's keep optimistic about this.
And yes, I genuinely want to work rather than be at University. Gasp and pull a face, everyone else does. But when you work at a place as awesome as I did for the first placement of my degree, and then went back there two more times and STILL loved it, you'd get it. Until then, stop pulling faces, it makes you look ugly. HA. Lemon face. (By this I mean you look like you've eaten a lemon because your face is all screwed up, in case that wasn't apparent).
So, it is officially the beginning of the end - of Uni I mean...I hope I'm not dying. I have unpacked the last of my boxes, and my final experience of student life is under way. LET DO THIS SHIZZLE.
Peace. x
(I can totally pull that off so just shh.)
-Gym Class Heroes - Cupid's Chokehold
I've posted once since this started, appalling. However, life has been somewhat of the crazy nature. I have broken up with my long-term boyfriend (four and a half years, whoa man, whoa), found a new wonderful and amazing guy (don't tell him, it'll go to his head and also I'm trying to play it cool - it's hard work even when you're this naturally cool), I have finished my second university placement, and returned back to my favourite place of work as a temp for a short time once again. Also, my sister has got engaged, my brother has got a boyfriend (say whattttt. Yes, you heard me), my best friends baby now walks and talks, and my Dad's wedding is almost upon us. I say us, you're not really involved, depending on who you are of course. Auntie Sarah? You're totally my wingman for the night. But random strangers reading this, you totally aren't involved.
Anyway. I have now returned to University for my fourth and final year. Can I get a HOORAY?! As of today, I have 243 days left of University, which means 8 months and 1 day left of education. It seems so close, and yet so so far. But nevertheless, I am both excited and bored. I am excited that this is my last year: what will it hold?! Lectures, most likely, but let's be optimistic. I am also a little bored that I am still here, four years has a way of lasting forever when you're desperate to be free and work. Just when things were going amazingly, with a guy who just by seeing him makes me smile, a best friend that is incredible and looks out for me all the time, and a family that are crazy as anything but provide more than enough comedy for me, I'm off again. SIGH. But let's keep optimistic about this.
And yes, I genuinely want to work rather than be at University. Gasp and pull a face, everyone else does. But when you work at a place as awesome as I did for the first placement of my degree, and then went back there two more times and STILL loved it, you'd get it. Until then, stop pulling faces, it makes you look ugly. HA. Lemon face. (By this I mean you look like you've eaten a lemon because your face is all screwed up, in case that wasn't apparent).
So, it is officially the beginning of the end - of Uni I mean...I hope I'm not dying. I have unpacked the last of my boxes, and my final experience of student life is under way. LET DO THIS SHIZZLE.
Peace. x
(I can totally pull that off so just shh.)
Saturday 6 April 2013
Breaking my blog's virginity.
Today is no particularly special day. It's average to say the least.
Despite the day beginning with potential, the delightful sunshine bursting through my window, even the weather has realised how distinctly average today is, and has given up. It's cloudy, my, what a surprise.
'Why are you telling me this?' I hear you ask. You didn't?... Well humour me, pretend you did.
Today may not be a particularly exciting nor interesting day, but - time to get deep - each day is what you make it. So do something interesting, different, out of the ordinary. Even if it's something small. It doesn't have to be inventing the wheel or hang-gliding. Make someones day. Buy a homeless man a chocolate bar. Why not? You have nothing to lose. The day is yours. Do with it what you will. Carpe that diem!
Today is a Saturday, in April, and *crack*. There goes my blog virginity. Cringe at that did you? Good. It's called dramatic effect. Mission: accomplished. I've chosen to start a blog. Record my memoirs. My legacy.
Okay, so it's more a collection of mindless rants and discussions (by myself...) but it's my thoughts on life nonetheless, which will become my memories, so ha, criticism averted. Mini high-five for me (again, by myself...).
So, given the growing realisation of my clear loser-loneliness, it's time to head off and at least pretend I have an interesting life to lead. Besides, you're not to know!
Have a wonderful day, Mr/Ms. Reader, I'm off to fight dragons and do some time travelling.
Laters.
Despite the day beginning with potential, the delightful sunshine bursting through my window, even the weather has realised how distinctly average today is, and has given up. It's cloudy, my, what a surprise.
'Why are you telling me this?' I hear you ask. You didn't?... Well humour me, pretend you did.
Today may not be a particularly exciting nor interesting day, but - time to get deep - each day is what you make it. So do something interesting, different, out of the ordinary. Even if it's something small. It doesn't have to be inventing the wheel or hang-gliding. Make someones day. Buy a homeless man a chocolate bar. Why not? You have nothing to lose. The day is yours. Do with it what you will. Carpe that diem!
Today is a Saturday, in April, and *crack*. There goes my blog virginity. Cringe at that did you? Good. It's called dramatic effect. Mission: accomplished. I've chosen to start a blog. Record my memoirs. My legacy.
Okay, so it's more a collection of mindless rants and discussions (by myself...) but it's my thoughts on life nonetheless, which will become my memories, so ha, criticism averted. Mini high-five for me (again, by myself...).
So, given the growing realisation of my clear loser-loneliness, it's time to head off and at least pretend I have an interesting life to lead. Besides, you're not to know!
Have a wonderful day, Mr/Ms. Reader, I'm off to fight dragons and do some time travelling.
Laters.
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