Four fillings and a dysfunctional family, please.

29 days to go.

Those four exams are approaching scarily fast, but what better break from revision than a lovely trip to the dentist?

Last night I discovered a hole in my bottom tooth, and today I visited the delightfully called 'surgery'.

20 minutes later I was informed I didn't just need one filling, I needed four. Four?! Who the hell has been sneaking into my room at night and sprinkling sugar over my teeth?!

'You need to cut down on sugar' the dentist said.

'Ok, I will!' I said, too mortified at the horrific state of my teeth to tell her I don't even eat that much sugar. Like, ever. Ma teef arr doomd. (Just practising what it'll sound like when I lose them all...).

That was shitty thing Number One in my day.

The second however, hit it out of the park.

Now picture this. Four years ago my parents got divorced. They now don't talk. At all. Ever. Never ever. You got that? They don't talk. So, upon receiving an email informing me I didn't get my three tickets to my graduation, but instead, two, I was thrilled as you can imagine.

Welcome to who do you like more, with your host Danielle! 

Time to choose between parents! Who should I travel with is always a fun decision to make. So pleased to be a part of this game.

Whilst my best friend did her best to console me ( in my 'I'M NOT GOING THIS IS RUBBISH' state you were wonderful, bravo to you), other people were less... helpful. Lovely how people can be so understanding... ahem. Given that stress makes me ill, I can now expect to be planking in my graduation gown, what's not to laugh about?! Thrilled. Simply...thrilled.

Silver lining? I'll be able to spot my parents a mile off. The ones throwing chairs at each other in the back row. Makes it far more memorable in my view!

Sigh.

Karma, I deserve some sorta miracle right about now!

Warm jelly and a sedentary life.

50 days to go. 50. Like, less than two months. Scary scary stuff.

Anyway, it's been manic and crazy and stressful and blegh. To use the technical term. These last few weeks have consisted of four courseworks and a dissertation in the form of a six-person group report of 25,000 words. S'not been calm to say the least.

So, the post title. Let me explain.

Part 1)
Today in International Marketing, we were asked,
'Who do Marks and Spencer target?'.
Older people, we replied.
'And what are they like? What sort of lifestyle do they lead?'.
Sedentary I said. Just me, no one else. Just me.
'Sedentary... what? How can you live a sedentary lifestyle? How can you live a slow lifestyle?'

*Laughing among my lecture and peers*

Should I have stopped there? Perhaps.

'Have you ever walked behind an old person? They're slow'.

*A pause. And then....bigger increased laughing from my peers AND my lecturer*

That's right guys, I actually won one for a change.
Danielle 1, Embarrassment 100000000. I got one, that's what matters. Small victory, but in the stressful rubbishness that is deadline period of the last semester of final year, it matters.

Part 2)
Warm jelly. Have you ever had it? I don't recommend it.

Jelly was my evening treat to look forward to after working on my 3000 word essay on China and M&S. So I put it down, next to my laptop, to serve as a motivating force to power through. And power through I did. Two hours later and I'd finished my final version.

Success.

No, you know me better than that by now. Success is very much not my forte.

I reached out and grabbed the jelly pot (did I mention it was lidless?), and shook it lightly enjoy the little jiggle jelly does.

'Little jiggle' in this case is code for 'massive liquid explosion all over my floor, desk, clothes and laptop'. As it turns out, putting your jelly pot next to your laptops fan is a rookie error.

Heat + jelly = slop. Slop that is now decorating my floor in wonderful little slodges.

Brilliant.

Sigh. Back to my 3000 word essay. Turns out, China is quite a big complex place. Who'd have known?!